Blog 2 in Series: PCOS

If you don’t know what PCOS is, then please take the time to read my last post in this series, which can be found here.

The Nitty-Gritty:

Many, many women find that the most devastating symptom of PCOS is infertility. Since I have not tried to conceive yet, I do not have the most insight into the TTC or “trying to conceive” process. I just know it can be a long, draining process. Many women end up using medicine and being fine, some have to go through more intensive/invasive treatments and some are not lucky enough to conceive at all.

Another devastating thing about PCOS is that it has been linked to increased miscarriages. I cannot imagine having a baby growing inside of me only to experience the pain and loss that comes along with losing the baby. It surely must be one of the most difficult things in the world. While miscarriage is often linked to PCOS, it has not “technically” been determined if it is a symptom, with more studies leaning toward no. To me, it all comes back to infertility and that devastation is simply put: world-crushing.

My Experience:

At my age and in my life, I have not dealt with any of these things yet, but I have dealt with the missed periods. As I said in my intro post, I went for over 2 years without a period. Sure, not having to buy tampons or worry about “leaking” was GREAT, but I still have cramping and have worse PMS than I ever did before…just without the actual menstruation.

Now that I have lost some weight, I can tell that my diet has EVERYTHING to do with my menstruation. If I am eating healthily, I will usually menstruate. If I am not, my body will skip it. This gives me a few different feelings.

1. HOPE: It gives me hope because this means that as long as I am eating healthily, watching my sugar intake and being active, I could conceive naturally.

2. JEALOUSY: There are some people who eat whatever they want, whenever they want. They sit around on the couch and watch TV all day every day and can just conceive whenever they please. I know it shouldn’t be such an issue for me to see others live normally and without constant surveillance of what they put in their bodies, but it is. In all honesty, jealousy is a driving factor for the reasons I do some of the things I know I shouldn’t be doing- and it gets me nowhere!

3. FEAR: My jealousy and hope really both crumble down to fear. If I am hopeful, I am also fearful that maybe I will be one that is unable to conceive naturally…or at all. My jealousy boils down to fear as well, but more on a personal level than a physical level. Should I be jealous or fearful? No, but sometimes, when I look at everything in perspective, I am. I want to be a mom. I am a woman. It should be natural, right? My fear is that it will not.

I’m sure you will hear more about my process in TTC, as I am getting married in May and will want to start a family in a year or two. I won’t hide anything from you all. I am (and always have been) an open book! If my story or my research can help just one person in their mental or physical struggle with PCOS, I want to make sure I do my part!

With that being said, I welcome you to comment on this post and tell me your TTC/infertility story! You never know who you will touch by simply sharing your process.

Love you guys!