Having a baby in the NICU was one of the hardest things I’ve ever gone through in my life. Scratch that- I will say it was THE hardest thing. You never can quite grasp how it feels to be a mom until you are one. Take that and immediately test it by having your child in intensive care to begin their life, and wow. It’s something that I would wish on no one and wouldn’t be able to explain the feelings I had if I tried.
If you haven’t followed our story thus far, you can read up on Clara’s birth story here. In short, she was born at 2 lb 11 oz and had to spend her first 18 days in the NICU. Luckily, she was mature, just small for her gestational age, so she was able to breathe on her own and never needed a feeding tube. Our main goal was to have her gain weight!
THE STAY
We didn’t choose our hospital based on the on-site NICU, but we were truly blessed with the hospital and staff we chose! To be honest, we chose the hospital we did because it was close to our home, and it was WAY better than the other one in town. (My sister in law delivered there, and I was just NOT impressed.) We had AMAZING nurses and care, were able to take on more and more care on our own with Cece, and although we never wanted to be in the NICU, the experience was made to be so easy for us.
Clara had her own room, so we were able to board in with her. It was amazing to not be forced to leave her every day! I am not sure I could have dealt with that, so props to all the NICU parents who aren’t allowed to stay. I cannot imagine. In her room, there was a reclining rocking chair and a fold out couch. Neither were comfortable, but Brett and I made them work for us.
I did make it home a few nights to get a good night’s sleep, see my cats, do some laundry- things like that. Brett went home a few times too, but luckily, she never had to have a night without either her mommy or daddy with her!
HER SCHEDULE
A friend of mine who was sweet enough to come visit us (and bring some treats that kept us fed) told us that while they were in the NICU for her baby, they called it Baby Bootcamp. That is exactly what it was. NICU got our girl on the most incredible schedule- sleeping, feeding, changing every 3 hours. We had people right there with us for any little question, giving tips on things we could try when she wasn’t sleeping or eating well. As first time parents, it was actually really helpful!
I had been around many newborns and babies before, so it was all really natural for me, but the help was still so appreciated since this time she was MINE. Brett has never been around babies for more than a visit. The nurses helped coach him through changing diapers, burping, swaddling- everything! Talk about a baby class… this was an 18 day bootcamp! On top of her being monitored and well-fed, we were getting some serious baby education from the hospital staff.
GOING HOME
It was hard to NOT focus on when or how quickly we could get home, but it’s what we needed to do in order to make it through each day. If I tried to do the math of her average weight gain per day and how many days it would take to get her to around 5 lbs….I just began to cry.
Initially the doctors told us she would be in the hospital for 2-4 weeks and while we knew she was making progress, we didn’t really have an “end” to the madness. They didn’t say “she must weigh XX and do XYZ before she leaves.” On the day she left, the doctor was so pleased with how she was doing and she said to us, “Well, what do you want to do?” I answered, “I mean, we WANT to take her home, but…” and she just replied “Ok!” We were in shock. We figured we would have another week or so.
Clara did a car seat test and hearing test, I signed her discharge papers, and we were all on our way home. We brought home our 4 lb 5 oz baby and started life together. And it’s been amazing!
Since this post is already so long, I will spare you the extra length and save some “helpful tips” and what you should include in a “NICU survival kit” for another post. When I was looking for those things online, I couldn’t find anything truly helpful! So I will be happy to share my necessities and how WE survived while the hospital was helping Clara thrive!
